Signs That They Are Not Your Real Friends

Here is a small list of possible signs that your friend is not truly your friend. The reason I am writing this is because when I was younger I missed a lot of signs from previous friendships that were clear indications they were not genuine friends to me. I wanted to address some of these signs to help other people understand when someone is not a genuine friend.

This is going to be a continuous list. If you have any signs that you would like me to add then please feel free to contact me or comment down below this post.

Side Note: Always remember that communication is the most important part in any relationship. I recommend always discussing any kind of issues before other problems arise. However, that being said, if you are in a friendship with someone that does not treat you properly in return then it does not mean you should allow them to treat you badly. What I am saying is that you can try to talk about issues first before you make rash decisions regarding the friendship. Otherwise, if the friend does not want to work on the friendship then you should consider parting ways with them. Friendship is a two-way relationship and not a one-way relationship.

A Second Side Note: I will be using "friendship" and "relationship" interchangeably, meaning that I will use those words to discuss friendships. This post is not meant for romantic relationships. Friendship is still a kind of relationship so I will be using those words together incase any confusion arises further in this post.

A Third Side Note: It is not a guarantee that all of the signs I am listing will occur in your friendship but, I do know from experience that most of these signs are not good to experience in friendships. It is important to pay attention to how your friend behaves around you and other people. It is important to see bad traits before your friend influences you negatively. Thirdly, it is important that you know the signs so that you can communicate any unresolved problems in your friendships.

Let us get started!

Signs that show your friends are not really your friends:

1. She/he talks about their problems the whole time throughout the relationship. They never ask about your problems.
   

2. She/he asks too many questions about your significant other. (This is a bad sign because it can mean one of two problems. One, they are interested in your significant other. Two, they may be jealous and are looking for ways to ruin your relationship in the near future). -There is a difference in talking about your significant other with your friend compared to your friend asking too many questions about your significant other. The increasing amount of interest in your significant other can be a bad sign of jealousy, resentment, or plans to ruin something in your relationship. If you feel as though they are too nosey, simply let them know that you are not comfortable with talking to them about your significant other anymore. If you ever feel as though your friend is asking too many questions about your relationship it is better to keep information about your relationship to yourself.
   

3. They are never there for you when you are sad, crying, hurting, going through a hard time. However, they expect you to be there for them all the time through every low.
   

4. They go out of their way to talk to your significant other and make sure that you know it every time they do.
   

5. Your friends act too friendly to other people but talk about their backs as soon as they leave. This is a bad sign because they will most likely do this to you too without you knowing it.
   

6. Friends that gossip too often.
   

7. Friends that are extremely negative in every situation. This is a bad sign because they will drain you mentally and emotionally. They will ruin your positive attitude by just being around them. You cannot force your friends to change or become positive when they do not actively want to become positive. Eventually their negativity will be forced onto you gradually.
   

8. He/she lies to you on multiple occasions and continues to make the same mistakes. Friends that genuinely care about the friendship will not purposely try to lie and make the same mistakes over and over again.
   

9. They never apologize for their mistakes and they never take accountability for anything they do wrongfully.
   

10. Your friends ask you to pay for everything when you go shopping. They ask you to pay for food and they forget their wallet often. On top of that, they never pay you back for anything. Here, it is a bad sign because they are using you for your money. They think your friendship is a transactional friendship and they think they can receive benefits from you for free. Do not allow this to occur. It is one thing to pay for your friend every once in a while but to do it on multiple occasions is wrong especially if they can afford it. If they cannot afford something and they really need it, you can buy it for them if you want to. Otherwise, make sure to pay attention to their buying patterns.
    

11. Your friend suddenly has the same crushes as you. When you like a new guy or girl that your friend does not know well, your friend suddenly becomes interested in the same person.
    

12. Your friend makes plans with you but then ditches you for other friends. This is a demonstration that you are not their priority. They will leave you once a better opportunity comes along.
    

13. Warning: This one can be triggering for some readers but it is important to discuss. If your friend threatens to k*ll herself/himself or cause harm to themselves every time you do not want to participate in the same activity as they are. It can mean one of two things. Firstly, this may be a sign that your friend is in a serious unhealthy mental state. You should recommend that they receive help in a respectful manner. If you are genuinely concerned that they are being serious then you should consider reaching out to higher authorities unless you are trained to deal with those kind of situations. -Secondly, it is a sign that this particular friend will manipulate you emotionally to get their way every time they want something. It is a dangerous relationship to be in because these types of friends can use extreme measures to get what they want whether they are joking or being serious. It is hard to know the difference between the two which makes it dangerous to themselves and to you. -Thirdly, this is a sign that your friend has bipolar disorder. It can be a burden to be friends with someone that has this condition depending on how serious it is. There are ways to better bipolar disorder but again, you never know until it happens to you. All I am saying is that you should proceed with caution. It is okay to help them and be there for them but be careful for your own sake.
    

14. If your friend sets ultimatums when it is unreasonable. It is important to be firm and assertive in friendships about issues that need to be discussed. However, setting ultimatums that are unnecessary is not a good sign. It can be another method of manipulation. They are always putting the relationship on edge.
    

15. If they borrow something of yours but they do not return it. You feel like you have to hunt them down every time they take something of yours.
    

16. Texting, calling, or hanging out with you only because they are bored and no one else can hangout with them. You are the last option on their list.
    

17. If your friend criticizes everything you do or always tries to give you advice when you do not ask for it.